Get on Boris's bikes!
HEAVY, ugly, tricky to ride and expensive - that's what the critics will cry when Boris's bikes hit the streets on Friday - and with good reason.
London Mayor Boris Johnson is calling on Londoners to become "pioneers of London's newest transport system" when Transport for London's new cycle hire scheme goes live.
But despite widespread enthusiasm for an idea that has been successful in other cities, like Paris, Oslo and Montreal, there will be plenty to moan about.
For a start the bikes weigh a tonne. They are also quite difficult to control, U-turns for example, are a nightmare as the turning circle is much wider than a normal bike.
There are only three gears, one of which is totally useless because the wheels go round so easily. And with their TfL branding and weird shape they are actually quite embarrassing to be seen on. But that is the point. These bikes are not fashion accessories, and they are not supposed to be that great. If they were 21 speed aerodynamic Boardman-esque beauties, you can bet they would all be gone by the end of the summer.
As it is, some people might be tempted to chuck them into the Thames - but they are too uncool to steal, and anyone who does try will find it tough going. A TfL spokeswoman said: "The bicycles are based on those from Montreal's cycle hire scheme. The modifications include features to deter vandalism, such as the strong plastic covers for all cables.
"There is always a risk of vandalism or theft, but our bikes are designed to be robust, to deter theft and will be distinctive enough to ensure that they become as much a part of London life as our world famous red buses."
So how will it work? It costs £45 for a year's membership, £5 for a week or £1 for a day. But having paid for "access", it is then another £1 for an hour's rental, £4 for 90 minutes, £6 for two hours - up to £50 for 24 hours.
With travelcards less than £10 a day it seems extortionate, but members can use the bikes for free for journeys of less than half an hour, meaning they can fo to the shops, or a meeting without paying a penny.
The spokeswoman added: "Barclays Cycle Hire is designed to be an easy-to-use, low cost, convenient, quick and healthy way to make short trips. The tariff reflects this. People who want to hire a bicycle for longer periods are advised to use an existing hire companies."
One perk is that members can ride all day for nothing if they make multiple trips under 30 minutes each. The penalties for lateness, however, are ridiculously harsh. Users have to pay by credit or debit card, so TfL have your details, and any time you are late, you are charged £150.
If you arrive to find the docking station is full, you can press a button to get an extra 15 minutes and directions to the nearest station with space, but with no appeal process and traffic-choked roads means it's easy to envisage this hardline stance causing major controversy.
Users will not be charged for "wear and tear" to the bikes "unless there is evidence that a cycle has been wilfully damaged", but what will happen if a puncture causes someone to incur a £150 penalty is anyone's guess. The penalty for non-return is £300, and that kicks in after 24 hours.
The bikes include safety features such as a rear reflector and lights that stay in on after the bicycle has stopped.
But this is still a work in progress, and there are issues that will need to be worked out. Whether the scheme recasts the Mayor as a forward-thinker or reinforces his tabloid reputation as a blundering buffoon, we'll just have to wait and see.
l For more information on the scheme, visit www.tfl.gov.uk/barclayscyclehire
Pick-up points in Camden
St. Chad's Street
Cartwright Gardens
Brunswick Square
Guilford Street
Malet Street
Bayley Street
Charlotte Street
Scala Street
Hampstead Road
Euston Road
Belgrove Street
Northington Street
Hatton Wall
Holborn Circus
Red Lion Square
Theobald's Road
Southampton Place
Drury Lane
High Holborn
Earnshaw Street
Gower Place
Howland Street
Longford Street
Drummond Street
Endsleigh Gardens
Bedford Way
Taviton Street
Russell Square Station
British Museum
Hatton Garden
Ampton Street
Tavistock Place
Pancras Road
Doric Way
Eversholt Street
Harrington Square
Hampstead Road (Cartmel)
Warren Street Station
Great Russell Street
Royal College Street
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